DON'S ADULT LAUGH A-RAMA

Submitted_By: Jim
My_Favorite_Site: http://www.donsworld.com/

Joke

A group of women are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

Submitted_By: Tammy
My_Favorite_Site: http://www.donsworld.com/

Joke

20 REASONS WHY A QUICKIE BEATS MARATHON SEX

1. No repetitive-stress injuries.
2. Knocks out insomnia faster than two tabs of Tylenol PM and a Bud tallboy.
3. Two words: less sweat.
4. On deadline? No problem!
5. Saves on batteries.
6. No guilt associated with saying, "I think it's time for you to go home now."
7. Two more words: stress reduction.
8. Makes for an interesting elevator ride.
9. Won't ruin your lipstick.
10. Great way to kill time while stuck in traffic on the way to the beach (if you don't mind rubberneckers).
11. Sometimes you just don't want your toes sucked.
12. You don't have to worry about remembering your partner's name.
13. Performance anxiety? What's that?
14. It's something to do while talking to your parents on the phone.
15. Doesn't give you enough time to notice he or she smells bad.
16. You don't have to suffer the embarrassment of having an orgasm in front of someone you hardly know.
17. You can have your after-sex cig in the cab. That is, after having sex in the cab.
18. A line doesn't form outside the bathroom at the party.
19. Dinner doesn't get cold.
20. Pillow talk? What's that!

Submitted_By: Tammy
My_Favorite_Site: http://www.donsworld.com/

Joke

"Well, dear what's it to be tonight?" said the amorous hubby.

"Hmmm....I'm in the mood for something special tonight, how about turkey style?" replied his mate.

"Turkey style? I've heard of 'doggy style,' but what in the world is turkey style?" he asks.

"Gobble, gobble, gobble!"

Submitted_By: Tammy
My_Favorite_Site: http://www.donsworld.com/

Joke

A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note to the man. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1 million in liquid assets, and 7 inches in your pants."

Well, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know -- I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have well over $2 million in assets, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches! Send the bottle back."